While we have preferences, the minute we start insisting that people and situations be different, we create internal turmoil – anger, disappointment, sadness and so on… It’s our attachment that leads us to donning a mask. blaming others, or feeling incomplete.

There are some ways to distinguish between spirit and ego.
The following are examples of getting caught in the EGO.

* Boasting of our accomplishments to impress someone
* Defending and criticizing yourself and others
* Lying, being deceitful, seductive, or manipulative, whether overly, covertly, or by omission
* Talking on and on about ourselves and others

* Putting on a fake exterior – cherry, tough, charming, cool, sweet, wise one
* Looking at someone as the perfect person, savior, parent
* Being chameleon by “reading” people, then telling them whatever they want to hear
* Pressing someone to be sexual
* Using sex to keep relationship
* Giving frequent unsolicited advice
* Plotting to change the other person
* Retaliating when we’re mad
* Harming ourselves when we are hurt – with food, drugs, self-abuse and much more…

Underlying all of these behaviors is fear: FEAR of being spontaneous and natural and trusting your instincts. Fear of simply sitting with your internal discomfort, anxiety, shame, and emptiness, Fear of not knowing what to do. We feel all of these fears at times, maybe even quite often.

When you operate from SPIRIT we are moving in the following direction:

* We see ourselves, situations and other people clearly
* We listen intently, becoming attuned to the other’s experience and not pasting them into our story lines.
* We reveal ourselves in the interest of making an authentic connection, not impressing or placating someone
* We present ourselves aw we are without enhancing or diminishing ourselves
* We ask for what we want without demanding it or being upset if we don’t get it
* We stay in touch with our inner experience and reactions. We are guided by internal cues and experiences
* We speak the truth as best we can – kindly, with compassion – not to change someone, but because the truth is out path and the only foundation for loving relationships
* We bring a broad perspective to all events and remember that everything is an experiment in being evermore aware, present, and loving.

EGO says: “I want someone to fill me up”
SPIRIT says: “I’ll have someone to help me wake up, challenge my blind spots and be a companion and playmate on the journey.”

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