The whole idea of dating is to have fun, share meaning, and establish a potentially valuable relationship – and maybe even find your soulmate.
Often, that doesn’t happen. We make dating mistakes.
Most of them are avoidable. Anyone who has ever been on a date quickly recalls their worst dating mistakes. But the mistakes we make can be useful for future dates if we think through what went wrong.
Here are some dating mistakes that can block you from finding your soulmate.
Mistake #1: You trust too easily. You think: “I’m a loving person. I don’t want to be suspicious of every new date I meet.”
It’s so easy to assume you know someone. Perhaps you’ve assumed that you could be open and even share something deeply personal with a date. Then you discovered you were with someone far different than the person you thought you knew. It takes time to learn whether someone is sensitive to your needs, open, and trustworthy. .
Our advice. Go slowly. Enjoy your dating, but think of your new “love” as a potentially great new “friendship.” If it turns into real “love,” you’re still going to want to be best friends too! That’s a key secret to soulmate love! Going slowly will only enhance the love. If it’s real, it won’t vanish.
Trust needs to be earned. It takes time to discover whether this person truly cares about your needs, is honest, open, & trustworthy, Pay attention to the early signs. Your gut is honest. Listen!
Mistake #2: You tolerate disrespect. You think: “I’m a nice person. I can forgive them. Things will get better.”
Become sensitive to how everyone in your life treats you. Often, we expect far less of others than we ourselves offer to them. By our allowing someone to get off-the-hook from being respectful (all the time), we actually enable someone to be less than who they could be, which even they won’t respect.
The number one way you know when you are loving yourself is by self-respect, which shows up by how you allow someone to treat you. The rule of thumb is, when someone is disrespectful, bring it up in a loving way so the person can make a course correction. If he or she continues with disrespect, realize that this is not a relationship you need. Find the nearest exit and vanish!
Mistake #3: Sex too soon. You think: “I need intimacy. What’s the big deal?”
Maybe it’s been a long time since you were held. Touch is a basic need for us all.
But, remember, you really want to be held by someone whose caress is another way of expressing how he or she values and appreciates you, based on knowing the real you.
Your real effort is in doing the loving-yourself work to have that happen. That means you date and date and date until you can select that special someone with whom you share mutual interests, have a deep connection – someone who sees you as more than a physical body. Someone who knows your soul essence. When you allow your body (really, your “self”) to be treated with little regard, as a casual throwaway or one-nighter, your light will shine less bright.
Ask yourself early on, is it really worth it?
Remember, we all make mistakes in dating. We have three divorces between us to prove it. But we learned. You can too. It’s a lot sweeter to learn by taking these mistakes into your heart, than by suffering through a toxic relationship. You deserve the best of love!
By Scott & Shannon Peck
Would you like to learn more simple ways to find and nourish your soulmate? Check out http://scottandshannonpeck.com, for free articles, resources! The Love and Relationship Experts, Scott & Shannon Peck. Scott & Shannon Peck are love & relationship experts who are passionate about helping you find your soulmate & lasting love.