Where and How to Find True Love: Unlock the Power of Spontaneity and Boundaries

Where and How to Find True Love: Unlock the Power of Spontaneity and Boundaries

Introduction

All of us want to find True Love, many of us have tried to, and only a few of us have succeeded in it. You are probably curious about what enabled them to do this. I want to share a story with you about a young man who was searching for the meaning of life. As a result, he decided to find True Love.

He went on a long journey until he met a matchmaker who agreed to share with him the secret of True Love. She told him about a Paradise Bird that every person has inside of them, yet not many people are able to find. The bird is incredibly beautiful and mesmerizes everyone who sees it, inspiring feelings of awe. It resides within a Golden Cage.

Once you get the bird into your hands, you will find True Love.

But there are two critical rules:

1. Never touch the Cage—not with your hands nor any tools. If you touch it, you will disappear.
2. Never touch the Bird—not with your hands nor with any tools. If you do, the bird will die.

This story is a metaphor for love, spontaneity, and personal boundaries. Below, we’ll explore how the Paradise Bird (our spontaneity) and the Golden Cage (our self-respect and willpower) work together. We’ll also answer common questions about attracting, sustaining, and respecting love in all its forms.

The Paradise Bird and the Golden Cage

Paradise Bird = Spontaneity

• This is the feminine element, the same as vital energy and energy flow.
• In Spiritual Love Alchemy, it is often called the Queen.
• Both men and women hold this spontaneity within.

Golden Cage = Personal Boundaries

• This is the masculine element, the same as self-respect, willpower, and self-regulation.
• In Spiritual Love Alchemy, it is called the King.
• Both men and women possess personal boundaries.

The old matchmaker explained that the only way to get the Paradise Bird out of the cage is by inspiring the Bird to leave voluntarily. The minute you try to break into the cage or grab the Bird, you will fail. This is where many people struggle in love: they violate boundaries (the Cage) or suffocate spontaneity (the Bird), causing love and desire to slip away.

How to Attract Others: “Get the Bird Out of the Cage!”

To attract men or women and make them fall in love with you, you must connect with another person’s spontaneity—their Bird. That involves:

1. Awakening their imagination
2. Catching and sustaining their attention
3. Allowing the Bird to open the Cage voluntarily

Yet remember these two vital rules:

1. Never touch the Cage (another person’s boundaries). If you do, you disappear over time.
2. Never grab the Bird (another person’s spontaneity). If you pressure it, the Bird dies.

QUESTION 1

How do I guide the Bird out of the cage without grabbing it or touching the cage?

The answer is simple: control yourself and focus on the other person! Most people do the opposite—focus on themselves and try to control the other.

First, you have to catch the Bird’s imagination and attention.

• Love is an air resource. Love is born through catching imagination and then keeping and growing attention.
• Only then will the brain produce the energy that motivates you to go after it.

Spontaneity is impossible without imagination. Love starts with imagination. It only provides an energy flow to resources or people that a person is interested in. To awaken imagination, one has to first capture attention.

Only your magnetism, charm, and charisma will open the doors to the Bird:

• Charm is the skill of unlocking one’s spontaneity.
• Seduction is the skill to cause anticipation of pleasure.

“You will want to exude pleasure to help guide the Bird out of the Cage voluntarily.”

Love is always spontaneous. You can make yourself stop loving someone, but you cannot force yourself to fall in love with anyone. People often believe they’re making a choice, but it’s usually a spontaneous, involuntary process. You fall for someone who happens to be in your current circle of influence—someone matching your energetic vibrations and level of consciousness.

Influencing others is only possible through the imagination and never directly through the mind. (That’s how most advertisements work.)
Words are not contagious. Emotions are!

QUESTION 2

Why will you disappear if you touch the cage?

The cage—like personal boundaries—protects you not from others, but from crossing your own limits. The cage is where self-respect ends. Honoring personal boundaries is as important as honoring the boundaries of others, meaning respecting them in return.

“Once you touch their cage, you break into their closed boundaries. The minute you want to get from the Bird what was not offered voluntarily, you become invisible over time and then disappear.”

There can be exceptions if your self-significance is very high and breaking into closed boundaries might be welcomed. However, people often have limited self-reflection and rarely evaluate their own value against real competition. Another mistake is to compare your own value to the subject of your interest instead of comparing it to their other possible options.

Breaking into other people’s boundaries through manipulation (often subconscious) will make others lose respect for you, and your significance will be reduced automatically.

“When I work with coaching clients, the main task is not just to understand these concepts, but to be able to connect the dots in their behaviors and recognize when they cross their own boundaries and the boundaries of others. That work starts with tuning up self-esteem to adequate levels and growing self-respect.”

QUESTION 3

Will the bird die if you grab it?

Yes. The Bird is Spontaneity. If you pressure spontaneity, it dies. Desire and motivation disappear under pressure. The same principle applies in marketing: you cannot force people to love or desire something by sheer will. You have to capture their attention in a way that allows spontaneity to grow.

Spontaneity is an absolute absence of expectations.

You want other people’s spontaneity to “fall in love” with you without using any “torturing squeezing” manipulation tools. Instead, you should provoke a natural, voluntary interest and positive attention. Positive attention is that energy flow when people recognize their interest in someone as natural (spontaneous).

QUESTION 4

How to attract the Bird?

Dating Success Rules = Capture Imagination + Deliver Pleasure + Respect Boundaries

• You can only ignite desire in someone if they already have a spark within. If they’re frustrated, depressed, or burned out, you may be out of luck—or you’ll deplete your own energy trying.
• Act while the other person is interested. Don’t wait passively until they lose that interest.
• You can try to spark desire in someone who doesn’t know you by attracting their interest. If they got to know you and then grew cold, it means they lost interest—there is nothing left to stoke.
• Respect the other person’s boundaries and their will to do whatever they choose.
• Never focus on the final goal (to “catch” the person). Have excellent self-reflection and focus first on capturing imagination and attention, then on delivering pleasure—but only once you detect genuine interest from them. Otherwise, you’ll overwhelm them with your positive intentions.
• Keep balance. Give the other person a break; create space. Do not ignore them unless you were offended or disrespected.
• Reinforce good behavior and positive steps towards you. Every move they make in your direction should be met with a comparable response.
• Talk about their interests and mutual interests. Avoid talking too much about yourself or monopolizing the conversation.
• Never rush. Give the other person time to think about their next step; don’t expect immediate reactions.
• Do not use “squeezing” tactics. Be realistic about what the other is willing to offer voluntarily. Never demand or beg for love, attention, affection, time, adoration, or approval—doing so will cost you your self-respect.

QUESTION 5

What are The Golden Rules of Attraction and Success in Love?

All that is needed for happiness is a large reserve of spontaneity. That’s why spontaneity is the essential element for a love relationship.

Here is a simple Formula For Personal Magnetism:

1. Attention → 2. Imagination → 3. Spontaneity → 4. Love

Or symbolically:

(Paradise Bird / Queen / Spontaneity)
+
(Golden Cage / King / Self-Respect / Personal Boundaries)
=
Personal Power / Magnetism / Charisma

• A magnetic person is someone who gains access to another person’s spontaneity (the Bird).
• Spontaneity is an uncontrollable, impulsive activity produced by the nervous system—without the direct influence of the mind.
• The higher your spontaneity, the higher your magnetism and vital energy.
• The quality and amount of spontaneity depend on your level of consciousness.
• The higher your level of vital energy, the happier you become.
• Happiness is a free and successful expression of will.
• Energy (spontaneity) depends on your ego settings (boundaries with others, self-esteem, self-respect, self-regulation, and willpower).
• The higher your self-respect, the higher your magnetism will be.
• Vital energy is what truly attracts others to you! When you’re afraid of losing something, you’re not free—and only freedom can make you magnetic.

Get Serious About Your Love Relationship

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Final Note

Remember: True Love flourishes when the Bird (spontaneity) and the Cage (boundaries) work together in harmony. You cannot force love by breaking into another person’s space or by clutching tightly at their spontaneity. Cultivate self-respect, charm, and genuine interest in others while granting them the freedom to respond. This balance is the secret ingredient to unlocking real magnetism—and discovering True Love.