How to Approach Someone Politely: The Art of Courteous Introductions

Courtesy and the Rules of Meeting Someone New

1. Demanding Attention Isn’t Polite

When you want to approach or meet someone—especially a woman—demanding that she stop everything and pay attention to you is never the right tactic. If you say “Give me your time!” or “Talk to me right now!” you’re intruding on her space and ignoring her own plans or interests. It’s the opposite of courtesy.

Courtesy means you’re ready to offer something (advice, assistance, or a genuine compliment) rather than simply requiring something from her (like a chunk of her day).

2. Offer vs. Demand

Imagine you see someone who appears slightly lost or distracted—politely asking, “May I help you?” or “Is there anything you need?” is much friendlier than “Hey, you! Focus on me!” The first acknowledges her potential need; the second declares your desire.

Demanding someone’s attention: “Stop what you’re doing and talk to me, a stranger who wants something from you.”
Offering help: “If you need it, I’m here, no pressure.”

One is intrusive; the other is respectful and might naturally spark conversation.

3. About “Fancy Car vs. Modest Car” Approaches

You might have heard stories about a man pulling up in an impressive car, rolling down the window, and suggesting a conversation. Compared to a man in a less eye-catching car, the first might momentarily seem more “courteous,” but it’s often just a status flash—not real politeness.

• Why it feels more polite to some: A man with more apparent resources “could choose anyone,” so if he notices you, it can be flattering—he’s presumably not desperate.
• But caution remains: Having a flashy car doesn’t mean he’s safe, just as having a less impressive car doesn’t mean he’s harmless. Real courtesy is about respecting boundaries, not just showing off.

4. Boundaries and Safety Still Apply

Anytime someone you don’t know invites you into an enclosed space—be it a car, a private room, or anywhere with minimal public visibility—exercise caution. Unfortunately, courtesy and outward wealth don’t always guarantee good intentions. Some individuals, no matter their background, can pose risk.

The key is that politeness means respecting someone’s comfort level. If they decline your invitation—even if it’s well-intentioned—leave it at that. Pushing further only signals you’re disregarding their boundaries.

5. Genuine Conversation vs. “Need It Now!”

• If someone’s clearly in a hurry—headed to a meeting, talking on their phone, or looking stressed—it makes no sense to chase them or repeatedly call out “Hey, wait!” That’s forcing them to give you time they likely don’t have.
• If someone is relaxed or available (e.g., looking at a menu, browsing in a store, or simply waiting around in an open environment), a polite comment can open the door. Make sure it’s something meaningful to her at that moment, not just your random desire to speak.

6. Politeness Means Sharing Your Resources, Not Taking Hers

A large part of courtesy is offering something beneficial—be it actual assistance or an interesting piece of insight. This is vastly different from “Please stop, I want your attention!” or “Hey, you—give me your info.”

When you give freely—whether that’s knowledge, a helping hand, or a thoughtful compliment—people often feel safeand respected. When you demand, people feel pressured and see you as self-centered.

7. Expensive Doesn’t Mean Entitled

Driving an expensive car or wearing designer clothes may capture someone’s eye, but it doesn’t permit rudeness. If you approach a person with an air of “I deserve your time because I’m obviously successful,” you’re still crossing a line. Genuine courtesy is about acknowledging that she can say no and that her time is her own.

8. Examples of Effective Politeness

What courtesy looks like:

• “Would you like some help carrying these things?”: You’re noticing her possible burden, not commanding her to drop everything and face you.
• “I see you’re comparing two wines—may I share a suggestion I love?”: You’re talking about what she’s focused on, not pulling her into your random subject.
• “I’m sorry to interrupt, but I have a quick question about this event—could you spare 30 seconds?”: You’re politely asking if she has space in her attention, not assuming she must.

9. Dealing with Rejection

If she declines, respect the no—immediately. Trying to convince someone who’s not interested can easily slip into harassment. Courtesy ends the moment you ignore her boundaries or keep pushing after she’s made her stance clear.

10. Removing Ego, Embracing Empathy

A big reason people come off as rude or demanding is ego: “I want you to pay attention to me because I want it.” Real politeness, on the other hand, is empathy: “Maybe I have something that could add value or cheer your day—if you care to hear it.”

When you approach strangers in a way that respects their autonomy and comfort, you naturally foster a better, safer environment for genuine connections to arise.

Key Takeaways

1. Demanding attention is never polite. Offering something of relevance is far more courteous.
2. Boundaries matter: If she’s unavailable, accept it.
3. High-end vs. modest resources: Neither automatically means someone is safe or courteous; real politeness comes from how you handle the invitation, not how fancy your car or watch is.
4. Ego vs. Empathy: Politeness is about giving, not forcing someone to engage.

By following these principles, you can approach new people (especially women) without intruding on their day or disrespecting their personal space. It’s about being mindful, considerate, and willing to let them choose whether or not to connect with you.