Thoughts on the book and quotes from “If The Buddha Dated”: A dating book like never before!
1) My commitment to myself: “More than anything else, I want myself. I want to live with integrity and truth. I am not going to hide the jewel of who I am, nor will I mask my imperfections. No bargains, no avoiding realty, no conning myself, no lies. The more I commit to knowing and accepting myself, the more I am able to surrender to loving another person because I have nothing to hide and nothing to feel ashamed of.”
The new love can resurrect our most primitive feeling of fear, hope, dependency, and emptiness. If we know how to soothe our pain and relax into our emptiness, we won’t be afraid to be open and honest, regardless of the outcome.
Suffering is inherent in life. We create suffering through our attachments and demands that things be different than they are. While painful situations are inherent in life – loss, death, hurt, illness – if we accept them as part of life, we do not suffer so much. We suffer when we demand that life is fair to us ad does not include obstacles, challenges, or illness.
3) Notice your attachments or demands that situations and people be different form what they are
Whenever we are:
• Frustrated
• Irritated
• Manipulative
• Demanding
– we are attached to someone or something being different
When we try to mold someone into an image of what we want rather than getting to know and appreciate them as they are, we create separateness, frustration and loneliness.
4) Concept of impermanence
Things are always changing – our thoughts, cell, hormones, landscape, consciousness, relationships. Instead of trying to freeze the present moment and hang onto it, we need to remember that life is a process of constantly letting go. The EGO wants dependable rituals and people who stay the same.
To be free means to enjoy this touch, this kiss, the sunrise, and then let it go. This is not to let the ground under your feet to get too solid, not grasping for security or predictability.
5) Fearless, unbounded compassion for our own suffering and that of others.
It’s is ok to have sadness, anger, confusion, beauty, etc… We have to get to know and accept all parts of yourself, and then they no longer have control and power over us. They are just the what is of life.